Ready

It has been a good day. A good week all in all. I have decided not to rush. Not out of bed in the morning, not to yoga class or in it as I move through postures, not to work, not to walk a dog. Not rush anything, but to move at the internal pace of things.

This is not to say I am planning on being late for anything, simply that I am committed to moving mindfully through life. Like my paddle through the water, I move at a true pace, not forcing it only to create whirlpools in a slow sea.

I will forget and become mindless again of course. It is alright to be in the eddy, because even the water here is moving, inexorably, somewhere.

There is not much to complain about. Life is good. I have a nice place to live, enough money, good meaningful and fun work. People. Some are farther away than I would like, but even those are with me daily. I hang out with dogs, paddle boats, climb things and talk to and do fun things with people for a living. I am fit and my body is enlivened after a season of sea and river and mountain.

I am grateful.

There is no need for me to drive a wedge between myself and whatever sadness has engulfed me this year. I get to shift out of it when I am ready. I have shifted already. Profoundly. I am not so sad today. or this week.

I am ready. Being, not striving, not searching. Sitting squarely in place as the perfectly imperfect person that I am and always have been. I will be found here. Staying put but willow-like. Some days I will be grateful and others sad and displaced. Confused. Unsure. But above all I will be myself, forming and reforming and becoming more of that.