Freedom (Part 1)

I have been having many dreams of late, full of imagery, perhaps messages from the ether, or from the underground of my mind. There is a lack of control, an inability to eradicate or escape some creature of deep imagination, leaking up from the floorboards of my rustic dreamland home. This is about staying put, and perhaps being bitten, or caught, or absorbed and digested by the thing that i fear most. To risk happiness, despite its transient nature.
I have pondered my own freedom of late, am learning to understand that the desires i have to twist free of the grasp of anything is grounded in entanglements of my own making. The only person to hold myself still is me. Someone I love has repeated the phrase 'you are free' enough times that I see that it is not others that hinder that feeling. I am held in the warmth of an open palm, leaving me safe but free to move if I so wish. If I would allow myself to range and be and say my own piece.  I have never been less sure of my own waywardness, and how it is formed and dissipates under tighter or looser holds. I notice that I have not written for a time and that is part of it. The fear of being exposed as the charlatan I am - an imperfect being rife with unclosed wounds and still hanging questions. Waiting for the river to wash these sharp edges down over time.