Readying for Launch

I have recently returned from facilitating a wilderness experience with a small group of women. They reminded me of something quintessential about the power  of the feminine - the power of the subtle and the intuitive. The reminder that the slow burn that I am, sometimes quiet and thoughtful, moving through life at the speed of a footstep or paddle stroke can the best way to give my gifts such as they are.  I have always been one to value integrity (my own and others') above all things...and at the very least a level of self awareness that allows me to see when I have deviated from an honest course.
Things that ring falsely, or are about image, marketing, 'branding' and the manipulation of words and images for the purpose of selling has always bothered me. It's a necessary evil, one might argue, in this world that values momentum and boldness. But more and more I see the work of soulfulness, mindfulness, and personal growth being commoditized. We have turned intuition, human development and self awareness into a product rather than a practice.
These are not things that can be bought and sold. They are not things that can be achieved through any means but the personal sweat of intention and depth - of letting go and making connections. Of practice, and more practice. These are the tasks built on a lifetime well lived, not things that anyone else can grant us. This work of the soul, of 'self-improvement', is both personal and universal, but it is about showing up and being as fully ourselves as possible while also trying to do no harm. To support others on this journey is a delicate balance of coming forward in our own imperfect and vulnerable ways, while also being able to not make it about us or our story. On some level I understand this as a large part of my life's work - this art of showing up, of listening and seeing those who arrive on these expeditions on land, sea and mountain as fully and clearly as I can.
My intuitive and authentic self cringes at the thought of self promotion, preferring instead to just continue this slow journey. This emerging success story that can only be truly measured in the strains of truth in whatever I do. My 'progress' often seems slow, esoteric and lacking material form.
This blog is a window on my soul's wanderings, partially obscured by metaphor, but visceral, real. It's where I sometimes arrive to sort, and understand and access whatever wisdom lies within me. I trust that it will reach who it needs to, and I hope that by following my own voice, this elemental stream of words that seems to emerge from the ether as I sit down to write, I will get where I need to go.
The "Art of Staying Put" as I named it 4 years ago, has been about finding my way through the tough and beautiful things of life and committing to a kind of steadfastness - a stillness, both geographical and internal. Not abandoning myself in the process of pain and loss, or even in the face of the great number of wonderful things that have arrived in my life.
Right now I am feeling challenged, at once pushed to 'make something' of myself as I enter into a few projects this coming month, and simultaneously fearful of getting it wrong, of pushing outwards when I should have pulled in. But I also see that opportunities are emerging, as I have slowly edged towards finding the material  confluence of the gifts I express in the world; of mindful presence and action (always a work in progress), an objective and documented level of skill and competence in the outdoor realm, a writing practice that accesses deeper internal truths as well as a potent and discerning practical voice, and an ability to support and mentor people on journeys of growth, connection and self trust.